NICU Journey - 79 days

Back to postpartum for recovery the next 4 days.  Would you even believe I had that same 1 star nurse from the hospital stay at week 12! I wish I had the balls to ask for a different nurse.  This time I wasn't going to do things she should be doing, I'm the patient paying for quality care! 

While in postpartum,  Mary Lou and Maggie Sue were down the hall in the NICU. The nurses don't bring your baby to your room, you go to the baby.  Each time you enter the NICU you sign in and do handwash scrub for two minutes. Don't cheat the clock, the front desk knows if you haven't washed for two minutes!  Then, hand sanitizer when you enter the room and when you leave the room. Sounds a bit much, but protecting little miracles is that important. 

Since birth, the girls have been separated from each other.  Both girls have head gear - cpap machines, umbilical I V's,  oxygen monitors, ultraviolet lights and vitals monitors, very intimidating.  First full day in the NICU and I still have not held either baby, just look and touch.  Back and forth from postpartum to NICU, I was attempting to pump and get the breast milk flowing.  Before long there was milk! Being a first time mom, I was thrilled about the breast feeding thing.

Finally, after day four in the NICU I got to hold Mary Lou for the first time, whereas Maggie wasn't well enough to be held just yet. The best moment ever!  All cords attached, I was introduced to kangaroo care.  This link, http://www.marchofdimes.org/baby/kangaroo-care.aspx, explains kangaroo care and how it benefits mom, dad, and baby.  Then, days later, I held Maggie Sue for the first time.  Our time was priceless for the 20 minutes we got to hold each baby, once per day.

Before I was discharged from the hospital,  we got an unexpected offer. The Ronald McDonald House of the Four States had asked us to stay with them until the girls were well enough to go home, and Children's Miracle Network would sponsor our stay.  Living close to an hour away from the hospital,  we, gratefully,  accepted the offer.  At this point, I had no clue when we would be home next. We entered the hospital with an overnight bag and some personal items, plus the winter weather kept showing its ugly face.

Each day consisted of : Attempting to eat and rest, pump milk, visit girls, take pictures when possible, health updates, every 3 hours, all day long.  We quickly got to know some of the staff taking care of the girls, and knew they were being well taken care of.  Each day was an emotional roller coaster,  whether it was a good day or not.  "Two steps forward and one step back is still moving forward." 

The progress the girls were making was slow, but in the right direction.   Head ultrasounds revealed no bleeding in the brain, echocardiogram revealed heart murmurs but not a major concern,  vitals are within normal limits, oxygen levels show the need for continued oxygen support.   As with preemies, underdeveloped lungs is common.  Eye exams are required due to long term high volume oxygen support.  Feeding tubes were used to feed the girls my breast milk,  they did not do well with bottle feeding once they were old enough to try eating from a bottle.  After weighing out risks verse benefits, the girls needed a blood transfusion.  I was mortified,  I signed the paper at birth for treatment if it was needed, thinking it wouldn't be needed.   I asked to give my blood, but was denied as I was healing from surgery myself.  Both girls had I.V.s in their heads for the transfusions.  Ugly sight, but I could see instantly the color of both girls change from pale to pink.  Only time would tell if the transfusion was the right decision.

After spending Christmas, New Years, Presidents Day, Groundhogs Day, Valentines Day,  and opening day of Trout season (Trout season is important to us! ) we finally got news that we would be going home soon.  We begged for them to go home without oxygen cannula/tanks, and apnea monitors. That only prolonged our stay.  Our original due date was February 18, 2014, and it was March before we were cleared to room-in. The goal was to be well enough to go home around original due date.  Before any baby is discharged from the NICU the parents room-in with their baby in the unit with nursing staff available if needed.

No cords attached!  First or last order of business, the girls finally get there hospital pictures taken! Getting to see our babies without cords, monitors,  and cannulas.  This was probably only the second time I've seen them with anything, even tape, on their precious faces.  They were so beautiful.  I'm couldn't stop holding them knowing we had all this freedom. It felt amazing. The NICU was our life and always will be. I've cherrished all memories, good and bad.

Preterm labor

The baby bump is growing like crazy, checkups are going well, every 2 weeks now until due date.  Then came week 29. For a long time now I've been sleeping on the couch for comfort. I woke up at 1 a.m. because I thought I peed my pants while sleeping. I kept wondering why I couldn't tell that I was peeing my pants. I changed underwear about 5 or 6 times.  Three a.m. I am searching frantically online to see what is going on with my body. Five a.m. my husband is up getting ready for work and I mentioned I might want to see Dr Lacey today.  Tom took it upon himself to call the hospital while he was outside smoking.  Well, here we go again,  back to the hospital to be checked for ruptured membrane. 

Dr. Lacey was not happy to see me! Test strip reveals ruptured membrane,  my water broke at 29 weeks and 5 days. My body was ready for the girls to leave the womb, I had no clue what premature birth meant and I was going to find out real soon. Monitors strapped around my belly, one for each baby, was very uncomfortable after 2 days. I.V. fluids, antibiotics,  and steroid injections began immediately after admission to the birthing center.  Worst of all, no food for 48 hours!  As Dr. Lacey didnt know if the girls would be born 24 hours after admission, taking precautionary procedures was necessary but then led to more vomiting from being so hungry.

Day 5, after membrane ruptured,  contractions were being controlled with medication.  As the evening shift change was upon us I was feeling the contractions becoming stronger and more frequent.   Whereas,  during the week I only knew I was having a contraction if I looked at the monitors.  I was slightly frantic when Dr. Lacey said it was time.  All I could think about was the spinal block and how big that needle would be. 

The operating room wasn't what I expected.  Well, I dont know what I expected it to be, but I immediately was being prepped for the spinal block. I held onto nurse Karria like she was all I had.  She could feel my fear.  After two injections of local anesthesia,  the spinal block was performed, painlessly. I was relieved.  It brings back all the feelings of anxiety just typing this. 

Emergency cesarean section went well. We got to see the girls for a brief second and kiss them as they were taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care unit. No word on Mary or Maggie's status.  While I was in recovery, my mom sat with me, I have no idea where my husband was. After an hour and a half in recovery, I was wheeled to the NICU to finally see my babies. I could not believe my eyes, I was in love with them and couldn't even see their faces. They had wires, tubes, nasal masks on, but stable.  You don't get to hold your babies when they are born prematurely, as these are our first children we didn't know any different. 

Mary Lou, born at 3 lbs and 3 oz and twin sister,  Maggie Sue just under 3 lbs, we begin our NICU journey.

Keep calm it's twins

As apprehensive as I was about pregnancy in the first place, our first doctors appointment did not go as expected. Hence the title of this post.

At 9 weeks, we had our first ultrasound with Dr. Lacey, the greatest OBG/GYN in our area. Nervous and excitement went straight to fear the second I saw the ultrasound screen. I saw two somethings before Dr. Lacey said "Oh shit, it's twins." I instantly burst into tears, and had a panic attack for the first time in my life. The panic attack last about 8 hours followed by 24 hours on non stop puking. Hello hyperemesis gravidarum.
Hyperemesis gravidarum is extreme, persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy that can lead to dehydration.

At week 12, the hyperemesis was absolutely horrendous. Twelve weeks of non stop puking is indescribable.  In the hospital I went. The 24 hour stay in the postpartum department would have been great if they had 5 star nurses and not the 1 star nurse that told me to stop eating Doritos, after throwing my guts up at 4 am.
As quoted from my recent favorite movie, "Pregnancy sucks, making a human being is really really hard," sums up all my thoughts about pregnancy.  I hated all the panic attacks, throwing up, hormones, uncontrollable vomiting,  and vomiting so much I peed my pants often.  Cried almost everyday, especially if anyone brought up the subject and congratulate us on the pregnancy,  I hated it.

Week 20: we would find out very big news, boys or girls? For the first time during this pregnancy I was thrilled to know what we were having.
Two girls!